The Curtain Rise
by YourConscience813
Summary: Dante goes on a mission and ends up getting trapped inside a cave along with his twin brother. Suddenly, this doesn't seem like a great idea... Or maybe it's an advantage? Skit turned Story. Yaoi & twincest warning. Don't like, don't read.


BEFORE YOU READ THIS: This was originally a really messed up skit that my friend and I made up during one of our classes. Somehow, even though most of the nondialog parts were not part of the skit, I was able to turn it into story form. Things like Tick Tocking Penguins and ORLY the clapping duck… And even Tom- who I really have no clue who the hell he is but my friend brings him up with his damn penguins- are just characters that my friend made. Kind of insane.

In addition, this has many random parts, contains language, incest, twincest, Yaoi, and a lot of sexual content.

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry or any of its characters, "The Take Over, the Break Over" or Pete's dog, or even Starbucks.

* * *

Something was telling him that it was his fault that they were in this mess. Then there were the other voices that said that he shouldn't care about it. Personally, he liked the second one the best. But, the thought of being trapped inside a dark cave that he didn't know how to get out -or how they got in- with his twin brother who he hasn't seen in forever made it a little awkward.

Maybe it would be easier to understand from the beginning. Dante had been enjoying an afternoon at Devil May Cry by sleeping at his desk with a porn magazine over his face when the phone rang. He grumbled but answered it anyway due to the lack of work- moreover, the lack of cask flow-. They told him that there was a demon infection in a village some miles away and that people were disappearing. Many of the girls from that village and the villages surrounding it have gone missing. They said that they saw one man dressed in blue near the cave, so that should be where the others are being held.

Dante asked about money and when he heard the amount, he quickly accepted. Once he arrived at the cave- Lady tagging along hoping to get some money out of it also-, some strange demons were chasing after them. They ran into the cave and kept running until they could get a chance to turn and fight. Before they could, part of the cave collapsed, trapping them inside.

They followed voices and found themselves sitting here, in a cave, with Dante's twin- supposed to be dead- brother. Awkward?

The other who was sitting across the room didn't look up. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head, wondering how the hell he ended up in this situation. He blamed the person across from him though. Mainly for blocking the exit.

A tick tocking penguin turned one of the corners of the cave and looked confusingly at the two half demons. Waddling into the middle of the room, he asked, "Hey, uh… Have you guys seen Tom?"

Vergil raised an eyebrow at that. He turned to the man named Tom, who had been going through his strange bag, and threw him over to the tick tocking penguin. They watched as Tom was carried away and into the darkness by the colony of tick tocking penguins. That was only just a bit creepy.

"'Scuse me, sir, but 'I dink dat's Marigold," said the British pup. They also picked up the British pup and threw him over to the tick tocking penguin so they didn't have to listen to him anymore. The great ways to get rid of the ones you don't like.

Some other British person jumped off the ground where he was sitting. "Damn it!" Dramatically, he threw a plastic cup of tea across the room, almost hitting a tick tocking penguin in the head. "Where's Tom when you really need him, eh? Now he's off with the colony of penguins and we don't know what to do without him!"

Just for that comment, that person was thrown to the tick tocking penguins as well. Vergil really didn't care about anyone there, especially his twin. This was just a coincidence that they were at the same place at the some time. "I thought the first guy I threw to the penguins was him."

Dante shook his head, "No, that actually wasn't him. I have no clue who you threw. The guy with the penguins is actually Cinderella without her hair… But she kept the dress."

Vergil raised an eyebrow at the answer but Lady commented before he could. Surprisingly, she wasn't being all bitchy and acted like she could stand all the things that come out of Dante's mouth. "…Nice dress though… I think I have the same one!" Dante made a few fake coughs until smiling. "Except that it was in red."

"Well, I have a black dress that shows pretty much everything." Dante said in a matter of fact voice making his twin roll his eyes at how stupid he was acting. "At the office, of course. I wouldn't where that pretty little thing 'out'."

Lady shook her head, "…That wasn't a dress, Dante. It was a freakin' thong!"

Just listening to the conversation was driving the other half-demon insane. The two were dumbing down the atmosphere of the cave with their comments. He really didn't feel like listening to them talk about this. "I want to kill myself…"

Dante rubbed his chin, thinking it over. "Oh yeah…"

Laughing at the other, Lady flicked his forehead playfully. "Dork."

At that, Dante grabbed her wrists and forced her to back up against a cave wall, all while smirking. "Oh? So you want to play rough, huh?"

"No ropes?" Using all her strength, she flipped the other around so that he was backed up against the wall. Vergil just sat there, trying not to pay attention to the two. Still yet, the giggling and the stupid things they were bringing up made it kind of hard to ignore for very long.

His hands slowly made their way from her shoulder blades, to her back, and then to her-- lower back. His twin's eyes were directed towards the hands. "Well, what about peppermint lube, then?"

"Peppermint?" She thought about it, placing a finger on her lower lip and looking to her left. "Wasn't it peaches? Oh wait… CHOCOLATE mint."

A smirk spread across his face, "You can think of it like this… Peppermint is like candy canes, candy canes are like Christmas, Christmas is like cookies, and cookies are like that pretty little picture of this girl with no clothes on baking cookies."

Lady's eyes narrowed at that, "You and you're porn magazines…" She faked hurt, dramatically. "What? I'm not good enough for you? I have so many more things to offer than that!"

He watched as she pouted, turning away from him. That only made his smirk grow. "What kinds of things, per say?"

In a second, she did a complete 360 and smirked over her shoulder at him. "Oh, you know exactly what they are…" A few seconds passed, then she answered his question. "Shoes."

The look on his face was a mixer between 'hell yes' and 'what the hell' but Lady couldn't figure out which was which. Then he turned to her with a raised eyebrow saying, "Gay shopping buddy?"

Vergil's full attention turned over to the two then. Dante noticed that automatically, then began to laugh at the expression on his brother's face. "Verge knows everything about gay shopping buddies."

"Don't talk about it, Dante."

A laugh escaped the twin, now turned towards his other half. "Hey, you didn't complain the last time we went! I even bought you dogs!!!"

His eyebrows came together as he looked at the other in disbelief. "That was years ago… And you bought me the dogs with MY money!"

"Yeah… But I paid you back!"

His brother took a long hard look at him, remembering the day that he did buy him dogs. Oh yes, he remembered that he was paid back. "You paid me back with HAM!"

Lady raised a questionable eyebrow, then smirked, shrugged, and ducked away into the darkness of the cave.

The red coated twin gave the other an innocent smile, knowing that he probably was going to be somewhere close to 'dead' by the end of this conversation. Well, it was better than just sitting in a cave without talking. In his mind anyway. "But… You said the ham was delicious! 'The best you ever ate!'"

Closing his eyes, he gritted his teeth at the other's actions. No, this wasn't going to end well. "But it was really DOG!"

Suddenly, Dante's expression changed dramatically. The color in his face paled and he even looked a bit sick. "… You like dog???" He turned his head to the side, whispering quietly to himself. "No wonder Patsy went missing!"

Even though he was whispering, Vergil could clearly hear everything. Sighing, he began to rub his temples. Why was this happening to him? He knew that he didn't deserve THIS. THIS was probably worse than death… "There's no getting through to you, is there?"

"Face it… I repaid you, you ate my dog, AND you better buy me another that looks EXACTLY like Patsy!"

From that, Vergil glared as his twin crossed his arms and began to pout in front of him. How could he forget how Dante used to act when they were little? Wasn't this the reason he absolutely hated his twin's being? Then he thought about it for a second. "WHO THE HELL IS PATSY!?"

Dramatically, the red coated man pointed at his brother's chest. "YOU ATE HER! YOU SHOULD KNOW!"

That didn't go over well with the other. Dante had, somehow, caused his brother to loss control of his anger. All of a sudden, he blurted out something from frustration but didn't think of what he was going to say first which wasn't such a smart move. "I DID EAT YOUR DOG!!!"

The cave seemed to get awfully quiet, letting what Vergil had just said echo throughout the dark corridors. Even Tom and the tick tocking penguins stopped to turn to the half-demon with confused expressions plastered on their faces.

"AHA!!!" A smug look appeared on the Devil Hunter's face even though he was utterly confused by what his brother had just confessed to. "So you admit it!"

Half of what was coming out of his mouth were just babbling noises. Still, he was able to get the point across with, "N'T!!! I MEANT N'T!!!"

If Dante wasn't so confused, he would have been laughing his ass off right about now. His brother somehow cracked him up. "N'T? N'T?! WHAT THE HELL IS N'T??? YOU ATE MY DOG AND EVEN ADMITTED IT!!!"

"I DIDN'T EAT YOU GODDAMMED DOG!!!"

"AHA!" Then Dante figured out that his brother had made another mistake when he had slapped his forehead for being so stupid. "Wait… Who's the dog?!" Vergil looked up, glaring at the other. "A- And why are you looking at me like that?!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" The end of Yamato was barely in his hand now. It was so damn tempting. "I MEANT-- WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS 'I DIDN'T EAT YOUR GODDAMMED DOG!"

All he could really do was smirk, but since it was Dante he overachieved and went all out on this. Slowly, he stepped forward, wagging a finger at his twin. "I think this is why SCHOOL is needed… And you did eat my dog, why else would Patsy's collar be in your house?"

Vergil narrowed his eyes and stared at his twin in disbelief. "I haven't been staying at any house, you idiot. And if you're speaking of the house that WE used to stay at, you should remember that YOU lived there to, imbecile."

He looked off to the side, rubbing his chin with the tip of his thumb. "… I thought the kitchen smelled weird… Wait… You ate Patsy while I was still in the house?! THAT'S CRUEL AND INHUMAN!"

He exchanged glances between his twin and Yamato at his side. The temptation, damn it! "Does anything get through to you?! I didn't eat Patsy!!!"

The two turned to the sound of something running towards them in the darkness. Dante reached for Ebony and Ivory as his twin stood there, hoping that whatever was coming towards them would simply attack the other. It would take care of a big problem for him.

When the thing was almost out of the darkness, it made a barking sound, making the half-demons jump. "P-Patsy?!" Low-and-behold, there was their long lost dog, which was a husky. Dante got down on his knees to pet his dog, wondering how this could be happening. "Where's you collar?!" Then, he looked up at the other curiously. "So whose dog did you eat?"

At first, he actually had a comment to that, but quickly decided against the act and closed his mouth.

Unexpectedly, he gasped. "I-Invisible doggah?!" Vergil just shook his head, wondering if he should just give up or give in to killing the man in front of him. If another stupid comment came out of his mouth, killing would be the most likely choice. "Cloverto?"

Sadly, he waved off the killing and just walked away.

But not before getting tackled to the ground by a certain other. Actually, it was more of a glomp from behind, but Vergil lived in the proper world and probably didn't know the meaning to glomp..

From the attack, he ended up falling forward and busting his chin open. The blood spilt off his chin and all over the floor. Then his eyes widened as something didn't feel right. "Dante…"

"Yes…?" His twin answered innocently, perched on the back of the other.

"Would you mind getting that 'thing' away from my ass?"

The other blushed, knowing what he was talking about. Nervously, Dante chuckled, "…That's… Your… Cell…! Damn it, you pervert! What did you think it was!? How can you be so dirty minded, you creep!"

With all his strength, he was able to push him off. Then he turned at the one who was sitting beside of him with a mixture of a confused and nauseous look upon his face. "Well then, would you please tell me why my phone is in the front of your pants?!"

He didn't give an answer, all he did was chuckle and throw the phone in the direction of his brother.

"Urgh…" He picked the cell phone up with two fingers and held it away from him. "I putting it on speakerphone. There's no way I'm letting that anywhere near my face." He pressed the button once, then set the phone beside of him on the ground. "Hello…?"

"Hello, um… This is Tom… You guys don't know what happened to ORLY the clapping duck, do you? And uh… I don't know how to say this but… Do you know what happened to my dog?"

Dante's blue eyes widened as he gasped, "YOU DID--!!!"

Completely forgetting about Tom who was still on the phone talking, Vergil jumped over to where his brother was at and wrapped his hands around his throat. He began choking the other, gritting his teeth as he felt he couldn't become any angrier at this point.

"I- I'm not a dog! I'm n-not a d-dog!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I DO IT FOR YOU!?!!?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He smirked as the other released his grip a tad bit. Sex type comments about his twin brother didn't make him angry but anything containing dogs made him homicidal? Maybe he's just a cat person… "Although… I never knew you were an 'S'"

He completely removed his hands from the other's throat now, just to glare at the other threateningly. "… You couldn't handle this…"

"That's because you ate my dog…" Before leaving it at that, he had to add, "Or someone's…"

Once more, Vergil attacked the other, jumping on top of him and staring at his twin's smug appearance. "Shut up!" He hissed through his teeth. As he tried to reach for his sword, Dante wrapped his legs around his waist, blocking the path to it. The next thing he tried was to push the other away, but that resulted in being pulled closer.

Their faces were centimeters apart, having the two stare into the other's mirror image resemblance. It took a few seconds for Dante to oblige to the other's wishes.

The older twin felt a soft pair of lips capture his suddenly. A hand found it's way to the back of his head, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Vergil felt like he should fight against the other but quickly made his mind up against the idea.

A meowing sound made them pull back to look up. What they saw made Vergil quirk an eyebrow and the other underneath him chuckle. "Is that---?"

His brother looked down, the eyebrow still raised in suspense.

"C-Catgirl…" Then he looked up at Vergil, held his hands up in a defensive manner, and chuckled again. "I swear, I SWEAR that's not mine…" Then he took one more good look at the skimpy catgirl who was just sitting a few feet away from him. "But…"

All of a sudden, "The Take Over, the Break Over" was heard playing in the background. Vergil's jaw dropped as he pulled away from Dante. He looked all around, looking for the source of the music. "The hell…?"

Quickly, Dante wiggled free and staring walking closer to the Catgirl in front of him. "Uh…" When the Catgirl offered pizza, his pace quickened a bit. "UHHH…"

Vergil wasn't even paying attention to the trance that his twin was in, but instead was watching as another canine came out of the darkness of the cave. "It's…" He pointed at the bull dog in front of him. "It's Pete's dog…"

That made the other turn his head in the other's direction. "Who's Pete…?"

Quickly, he pulled out a small Fall Out Boy poster from his coat pocket and passed it over to Dante. "This-" He tapped the guitarist with the emo style type hair, "-Is Pete."

The Catgirl was completely forgotten now, so she ended up eating some of the pizza and watched as the two began to fight.

Moving forward, Dante narrowed his eyes. "I see… So all this time… You have been in love with Pete?! And you didn't even eat HIS dog!? P-poor dog… I bet it was Tom's dog. Nobody likes Tom anyways."

From that, he pulled out a magazines from his coat pocket as well. For some reason, the dog comment flew over his head because he paid no attention to it. He handed over the magazine and pointed at one of the articles. "Pete's married…" Then he felt like adding, "To a woman…"

"Doesn't mean he can't cheat… With a man…"

As the Catgirl took a bite out of the pizza, the dog growled at her, making her hiss. If it was war the dog wanted, it was war the dog was going to get. All she really needed to do now was make it all the way over to the other side of the room where a mattress was located.

"I would cheat."

Before Dante could yell at the other, the Catgirl ended up knocking the two over in attempts to get to the bed. As she got there, she laid down, and then continued eating the pizza.

The red coated man simply pointed to the Catgirl. "… I'm siding with her…"

Shrugging it off, Vergil replied, "Go right ahead then." It was going to be one last problem that he needed to worry about now. He really should be looking for a way to get out of this damn cave.

"Damn straight," He called back as he sat down next to the Catgirl on the bed. She handed him a piece of pizza which made him smile. Pizza, the world's perfect achievement.

Vergil began to walk away when he saw the Catgirl lean over suggestively, grabbing the pizza out of his twin's hands. She took a bite then tilted closer to feed mouth to mouth with him.

Before that could happen, he came back to pull Dante away from the Catgirl. He blushed, "Urgh! You idiot! I didn't actually mean it in that way!"

"What would you have done if she kissed you?!"

"That's… not kissing… But I could have been looking in the mirror because for some odd reason I look exactly like YOU!"

Pointing to the hair, Dante commented, "But I don't have your weirdo hairdo."

The Catgirl purred, clawing at the back of the red coated man, wanting him to come back and sit on the bed. The other half-demon sent her a glare that told her that it wasn't going to happen.

When she realized the other was glaring at her, she got up and moved towards Dante. Like it was nothing, Vergil pushed the Catgirl away. "That's because I don't have my hair down, idiot." He showed Dante by messing up his hair that he looked exactly like him. "Now do you see… Idiot?!"

"WHOA!… That's freaky" He sounded like this was the first time in his life that he had noticed it. It was a little hard to tell if he was joking or being serious about it. "Do you have a sword on you--?"

A eyebrow raised at that, "Why……?"

The other laughed at his twin's expression. "Don't worry, I just want to try something out…"

As Vergil was taking out Yamato, he noticed that everyone- including the small colony of tick tocking penguins- were gone. Hesitantly, he handed over Yamato to the other who took it and set it down across the room.

Then, he started going through that bag that Tom had with him. He knew that it had to be in there somewhere. Someone like Tom HAD to have it. "What favor do you want…?"

"Wha-?" Vergil's eyes widened, wondering what the hell his twin was desperately searching for. What would Tom carry in that bag? Why did Tom even have a bag?! Moreover, why did Tom have his phone number?

Dante called back, tearing the other from his rambling thoughts. "We'll settle on Piña Colada, then." Turning back around, he showed his brother the bottle that Tom had stored in the bag.

Vergil continued to stare at the bottle, wondering what was going through the other's mind. Piña Colada was one of his favorite drinks, though. He blinked a few times before replying, "What's going on…?"

He nudged his brother, winking at him. "Don't tell me you don't know…"

"I won't tell you then."

"Ohh… But then you won't have any of the fun." He motioned for the blue coated man to follow as he sat down on the mattress. Slowly, he licked the bottle, closed his eyes, and moaned to get the attention from the other. "But, you know you want it…"

"You have fun with that…" As he began to walk away nervously, he then remembered that he was still in the freaking cave. Still yet, there was no exit that he could see. He still even blamed Dante for blocking the only known exit in the first place.

From that, the one go up and grabbed a hold of his wrists. In one smooth movement, Vergil was thrown onto the cheap but comfortable mattress. The other now sat on top of his lower stomach, slowly removing his brother's jacket and shirt.

Quickly, the blue coated twin pushed up, trying to get the other off of him. "What-?" A large blush formed across his usually cruel face. "What are you doing? Get off of me, now!"

Dante leaned closer, his lips lightly brushing against the others at every syllable he spoke. "Doing what is meant for us, of course. Are you sure that our heritage is not from Greece?" Slowly, he licked at the other's lower lip. "Our ancestors maybe? That was one history class that I actually paid attention to."

Vergil felt his face burning and didn't like it very much. "Dante! G- Get off!"

"Like I ever will," He stopped to look down with fascination sparkling in his blue eyes. "And Oh… Something twitched." He trailed one of his fingers around the naval and began going south. When he reached the belt, he began fiddling with it, trying to get it undone. "Definitely something."

Quickly, the trapped one shoved at his capturer's shoulders roughly. "It was your… imagination, damn it!"

"CATGIRL!"

From the call, the skimpy Catgirl appeared and stood next to Vergil, holding down his arms. She purred, and picked one of his hands toward her mouth. Seductively, she sucked on one of his fingers, making the other shudder.

After capturing his twin's lips in a slow, warm kiss, Dante smirked, "So there's you… Me… And a Catgirl… What to do, what to do…"

Feeling pleasure by the two who were trying to woo him, he trembled. As he felt the clothing on his stomach being lifted, he was snapped out of his stance. If it was possible, he blushed even more. "DAMN IT YOU TWO! I SAID GET OFF OF ME!"

"How red can you get, Verge?" Dante chuckled, nipping at his twin's lips. "You weren't blushing so much when I kissed you easier." Suddenly, he turned his face to the side, commenting to himself, "But of course, that was just a kiss. Now this could even lead onto full fledged sex…"

Forcefully, the pinned down half-demon pulled the Catgirl to his side, making her release her grip. Then, before his capturer could do anything about it, he flipped them over so he was now the one on top. Yamato was summoned by it's master and suddenly appeared in Vergil's hands once more. More importantly, it was pointed at his twin brother's throat.

"I always wondered how you could do that…" The blade continued to get closer to cutting the other's throat at all the smart ass comments he was making. "Oh ho… You want it like that? Though… Trying out to be an 'M' won't be so bad."

"Well, you're far from an 'S'."

Dante grinned, not sweating over the fact that the blade was almost cutting into the front of his neck. "Only because that's how you like it. But… I still have the rope."

A corner of Vergil's lip curved upward. "I still have my sword."

"And that you do."

The Catgirl meowed, acknowledging that she was still there. Maybe if she climbed on top of them they would finally notice her? Nah, she really shouldn't try it since they needed time to talk things over… But…

Distracted by the Catgirl, he didn't notice as the one he was pinning down, moved Yamato to the side, leaned forward, and licked the base of his neck. As Vergil looked down, he raised an eyebrow. "You… Are… Insane…"

"More of drunk on ice, really."

Sighing, he got up and put Yamato in its Kanata. "That makes a lot of sense now." He began to walk away when he realized something. Quickly, he spun back around to face the Catgirl. "I thought you were gone with the others…"

Simply, she meowed and held up a sign.

As a response, the half-demon attempted to kill her. She dodged every attempt and clawed at his shoulder, purring.

Dante, by this time, was laying down on the mattress asleep.

The Catgirl continued to move around, annoying the hell out of the other. She eventually held up another sign that read, "Mr. Swingle… Looking for Mr. Swingle…"

"I don't know who the hell Mr. Swingle is! Why the hell are you asking me this, you incompetent fool!" He pointed Yamato over to the side. "Just get the hell away from me before I cut you out of this dimension."

Tom moved out of the way, his clothing torn from the penguins.

Vergil rolled his eyes as he killed Tom in one swift motion. Then, he pointed the sword at the Catgirl's throat. "That same goes for you. Don't blame anyone else but yourself because you have too big of thighs to be in the skimpy little outfit that adds on ten extra pounds because you're all ass and you have no boobs, A-cut-ist!"

The Catgirl opened her mouth, shocked. Then she pulled off the disguise that she had been wearing all along to reveal Nevan who only smirked.

At that, Dante jolted up, awakening from his small nap.

Not understanding any of the things that have been happening, the other twin stared at the red headed woman with a puzzled expression.

Not understanding why Nevan was suddenly in the middle of the cave, Dante looked from his twin to the re head, then back to his twin. "No wonder my guitar went missing."

Now, Vergil was staring at his brother with a puzzled expression.

"Well… She was a very nice guitar, as you see… The vibrations were unbelievable, I actually I think that I might lend her to you. She could do you some good." He opened his mouth to say something else but then fell asleep.

The other twin turned to Nevan who was staring at the sleeping one. "You put sleeping pills in the Piña Colada, didn't you?"

"Hmtp, I only put in some children's vitamins," She answered, her blood red eyes staring down the half-demon in front of her. "But it seems you and I are the only ones left… Hm."

With a dumbfounded expression wirten across his face, Vergil stared at her for a few seconds before walking in another direction of the cave. "I guess it's time to go to Starbucks then…"

She laughed, wrapping her arms around the other's body. Then, she turned him in the right direction. "… You haven't lived here that long, have you kind sir…"

"Right." He began walking to where she pointed, shaking his head. "Starbucks is around every corner. It's not like you could never find one."

"But that's not even a corner, sweetheart."

"So?"

"Brat."

"Sex-starved Vampire."

"Sensual Vampire."

Vergil shook his head, "It's sad that you think of yourself in that way."

She laughed at the comment, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "Well dear, it's sad that you don't know where Starbucks is."

"Silence!"

From his brother's yell, the other woke up again. "W-who… Wha-?" He now noticed that he was curled up in a ball on the surprisingly comfortable mattress. Quickly, he got up and walked over to Vergil, knowing that he was going to leave. The first thing he did was grab Yamato and threw it back down to the ground, then he roughly pushed the other onto the bed. "Coffee at night? What kind of freakshow are you?"

He responded, "What kind are you?"

"The loveable kind."

The lovable kind? Since when has Dante ever been loveable. Demanding yes, lovable no. Vergil watched as his brother was about to join him on the mattress with a smirk across his face. "Not quite."

That stop the other's actions. He glared and got back up in the standing position again. "You don't love me? After all the nights you've been thinking about me-- I swear you love at least one thing about me-- my body."

"I loved you're body until I heard what other people say about what happened when they see me…" Right at that, he attempted to get up on his feet once more, but failed as the other blocked his way. "It's pure sex."

"But- I look exactly like you!" Cried the other, pointing a finger at the one of the ground. Then quietly to himself, he added, "Even though I didn't notice it earlier, but who cares about that. No one is really paying attention!"

Plainly, the other put out, "It's possible they may not like the way you dress." If Vergil really didn't want to get out of the cave so much, he probably would have been laughing at his next comment. "Man-bras aren't really in season, I suppose."

He opened his mouth to argue back for making fun of his wardrobe. Yeah, he was the one to talk. He's the one who looks out-of-date. All he could really do was glare and say, "Verbal slut!"

"Now how am I a verbal slut?"

"You really want me to explain this?" His brother nodded, so he continued on, "Well, you don't sleep with anyone physically, you lead them one then end up crushing them into the ground. You're such a damn tease! AND I heard what you did with some other people!"

"And that was…?"

Dante continued to glare at the other since he was actually being so calm about this all. How could he when he's blaming him for all this stuff? He's weird. "I've read all your texts before… Just didn't think you were quite like that…"

Vergil nodded, taking all this new information in for a moment. "Huh… So how exactly am I supposed to feel about all this, Dante?"

Already, he had his grip on the sword and pointed it at his twin's throat. This was a change for once. His twin sighed, grabbing a hold of the blade, moving his hand cutting his palm open and spilling the blood onto the floor. "Actually, I was thinking of something else."

"Oh really?"

Carefully, he took the other's hand off the blade, not really caring that he now had drops of blood on his hand. Not caring anymore, he threw the sword to the side. "You want it hard or…"

His brother crooked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at the unfinished comment. "Or…?"

Now, Dante joined him on the ground, lying down on top of the other. He leaned down, his lips just centimeters away from his ear. "Or just something unbelievably delicious?"

He felt as the other softly bite down on his ear. Gently, he tried to push the other away, knowing that this wasn't going to turn out so well.

From the reaction, Dante smirked and moved down to nib at the side of his twin's neck, leaving tiny marks along the other's pale skin. Vergil's reaction to that was turning to face the other way, trying hard not to enjoy it so much.

When he reached the collar bone, he bit down hard. Blood spilt from the wound, making the other moan. Still, Vergil pushed up, trying to pry the other off of him. "…Don't…"

"Why not…"

Continuing on, his twin fought back. This time, he forcefully pushed the other up to face him. A stern look was expressed upon his face. "Because."

Dante only smirked at that. Leaning down, he bite down on the other's bottom lip. His twin rolled his eyes at the action and pushed up so he was now in the sitting position. Dante pulled back to ask what was going on but before he could, Vergil captured his mouth.

The edges of the red coated man's lips turned upward. His hands found their way to his twin's belt, fiddling around while the other was distracted. The other's hands were tangled in with his twin's white hair. When he felt the other's hand now in his pants, he backed away. "No…"

"You want to use pizza like the Catgirl- I mean Nevan did?"

Vergil shook his head in disbelief. "Were you seriously thinking about pizza the whole entire time?"

Shrugging, he answered, "Depends." Then a smirk appeared once more, "Are you going through with the idea?" He took the punch to the jaw as a no. He watched as Vergil got up on his feet and he followed, quickly pulling out the Pizza: Pros and Cons handbook. He read a few lines, "Well…"

Before he could say anymore, his twin snatched the book away and threw it across the room. "Oh good… Now that you aren't busy…" Brutally, he made a hard kick to his twin's shin then watched as he almost fell to the ground.

Dante opened his mouth to say something but heard a distant applause coming from behind one of the cave's walls. They both turned to see that wall was actually a curtain and it raised up to show a number of girls from all over clapping at them. The red coated man's jaw dropped. "This is where all the girls went!?"

Lady smirked, standing beside Trish who held onto the leash of a dog named Patsy. Tom- who surprisingly was not dead but did have a giant scar were Vergil tried to kill him- was standing between the two girls and held a microphone. "Watta great performance by the demon twins! Certainly got the ladies all burning up! Let's hear it for them!"

The two stood there dumbstruck and just staring at the fangirl mob which was the audience. Lady took the microphone away from Tom for a moment to add something, "Now let's hear it for Trish who was the one who called it in to bait Dante to even showing up."

Quickly, Tom took the microphone back, "Actually, let's here it for both Lady and Trish who made up this whole entire plan for all the fangirls to enjoy. Let's give them a big round of applause."

"Wha-? You damn bitches!" Cried Dante. He shook his head, as the two winked the laughed at him. "I can't believe you would do this- to ME! To Vergil, yeah… I wouldn't care but to ME?!"

At that, Lady tapped the video camera, a smug look plastered on her face. "Plus we got it all on video to share to the fangirls of the world…"

"I knew there was an exit from this hell." Vergil ignored as his brother and Lady began fighting, and jumped off the stage to make a run for the emergency exit. When he got close enough, the exit suddenly was blocked by a crowd of newly made rapid fangirls. "Oh… Oh no…"

From some screams, Dante turned to see a crowd of fangirls who were doing- things- to his brother. The three just watched as Tom jumped off of the stage and tried to get the fangirl mob off of the twin. "Well… I guess this is a great time to exit to stage left."

Vergil was almost loose when he saw his brother wrap his arms around the two ladies and started walking towards an exit together. "CURSE YOU, DANTE! CURSE YOU!"

"Well then…" Dante smirked, as he kicked open the door for the girls. "Does anyone else think that it's movie night at Devil May Cry?"

* * *

We really didn't know how to end this but my friend made the curtain rise when I told her that most of my skits end in death. Oopes? Oh well… I took out a few parts that were really random but I really wanted to keep the Starbucks part. Mainly because of the exchange between Vergil and Nevan. Oh well… Good times, good times.

I hope that you all enjoyed this very interesting skit-made-story.

Review if you wish.

YourConscience813


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